You love your child. You love your faith. Right now those two things may feel like they're pulling in opposite directions. They don't have to. You are not alone on this journey — and there is a path forward that doesn't require you to choose.
When a child comes out, many Christian parents find themselves carrying two questions at the same time: the theological one — what does the Bible actually say? — and the relational one — how do I stay close to my child through this?
Those questions deserve serious answers. The theological question is real and worth engaging deeply. And your relationship with your child is one of the most important things in your life.
The Reformation Project was built for Christians who take Scripture seriously. The resources here won't ask you to set aside your faith or your love for the Bible. They'll ask you to look at both more carefully.
"Coming to The Reformation Project's Reconcile and Reform Conference was the turning point that moved me to become affirming. The organization's resources made a huge difference for our family."Per-Olof — a father of a gay son, Sweden
Parents arrive at this question from different places, but the weight of it tends to feel similar. These are the things we hear most often.
You know what non-affirming theology can do to a person who grows up hearing it. You're trying to understand whether your faith puts your child at risk — and whether there's another way to read the texts you've always trusted.
You've read the passages. You want to be faithful to the Bible. And you're not sure what to do with what you've been taught versus what you're watching your child experience. You need the theological question answered, not avoided.
Your church may not be a safe place to ask these questions yet. Your family may be divided. You need a community of other Christian parents who understand what this moment feels like from the inside — without having to explain yourself first.
Two arguments tend to matter most to parents at the beginning of this process. Start here, then follow wherever the questions lead.
In Matthew 7, Jesus teaches that sound doctrine produces good fruit. Non-affirming theology has produced documented, serious harm in the lives of gay, bisexual, and transgender Christians — including dramatically elevated rates of depression, family estrangement, and spiritual devastation. The Reformation Project takes that fruit seriously as theological evidence, not just emotional data.
Read the argumentOne of the hardest things for parents to sit with is the implication that their child must live alone forever. Scripture honors celibacy as a worthy calling — but it also clearly states that it is a gift that not everyone has (1 Corinthians 7:7–9). Requiring lifelong celibacy based on sexual orientation alone is at odds with what the Bible actually says about the gift.
Read the argumentThe full Biblical Case covers ten arguments, from Scripture's silence on sexual orientation to the meaning of gender complementarity. You can explore them at whatever depth and pace feels right.
Explore all ten arguments"Coming to The Reformation Project's Reconcile and Reform Conference was the turning point that moved me to become affirming. The organization's resources made a huge difference for our family."
"I was seeking God's heart — diligently searching for biblical answers — when I found The Reformation Project. Their resources helped me so much on my journey to becoming fully affirming."
"After much prayer and honest conversations, our mother-daughter relationship was restored and now we have the deepest love for each other — with Jesus as our foundation."
The Parent Study Group is an ongoing program from The Reformation Project — a structured small-group experience designed to support, equip, and connect Christian parents of gay, bisexual, and transgender children.
You'll study Scripture alongside other parents who are asking the same questions. You'll work through the biblical material at a pace that allows for real reflection — with facilitators who understand both the theology and the family dynamics involved.
Learn about the Parent Study GroupThis free seven-week email series — based on Matthew Vines' God and the Gay Christian — walks through the biblical case for affirmation from the very beginning.
It's written for people who take Scripture seriously and want to understand what it actually says — and doesn't say — about gay, bisexual, and transgender people. No prior theological background is required.
Many parents find it one of the most useful things they do in the early weeks of this journey.
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The Reformation Project's ambassadors include parents who have walked this road. A conversation with an ambassador is free, private, and without any obligation to agree with anything in advance.